


Test Subject

by auburnautumn



Category: Bleach, Naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auburnautumn/pseuds/auburnautumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobushige Hisoka, fifth seat of the Twelfth Division, is pushed through a dimensional portal by her vice captain.</p><p>She starts taking notes.</p><p>If Kurotsuchi taicho bothers to bring her back, she knows he will want data. She also knows that she fears what will happen to her if she doesn't have said data.</p><p>Possibly, dismemberment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Test Subject

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone at 2am in the morning, so sorry if there are any typos. Also, I made both the Bleach world and Naruto world slightly AU to fit the fic, but hopefully that doesn't take away from the story. Enjoy reading! :D

It was an accident.

Really, it was.

It's not like Nobushige Hisoka, fifth seat of the Twelfth Division, walked into the laboratory with the intention of catching her captain's attention. Her only goal was to get in, take a file from a shelf, and get out as fast as she could, as silently as she could.

Unfortunately, she was short.

Not that her height was what got her where she was, per se. But, because of it, she needed to grab a stool, because the file was on the top shelf of the highest bookcase.

(Of course it was.)

And when she put the stool down, it made a small tap against the ground. The noise was barely audible.

But it was enough.

In an instant, Kurotsuchi Mayuri turned around from whatever he was working on to face her, making eye contact. He scratched his painted face, tilting his head to the side slowly before sharply nodding and snapping his fingers.

"You'll have to do."

The next thing Hisoka knew, Kurotsuchi Nemu had grabbed her shoulders.

xOx

Hisoka is pushed through an experimental dimensional gateway by her vice captain.

She is unsurprised by the matter.

Honestly? Hisoka would be lying if she said she wasn't interested by the results of the research (how does it differ from a Senkaimon or Garganta? what is its intended purpose, if it has one? is the world she's in a shinigami construct previously made in the labs? can messages be sent inter-dimensionally?).

She just wishes that the results of the research didn't involve her general well being.

Of course, her general well being was never ensured in the Twelfth Division to begin with. The mere idea of 'well being' and 'Twelfth Division' being in any sort of positive correlation with each other would make Academy students laugh (while crying with fear, probably).

She had expected that something like this would happen to her. It was never a question of 'what if?' but a question of 'when?'.

So. Instead of having a meltdown, she does three things anyone else in the Twelfth Division would do.

First, she checks that all her limbs are functioning and are actually in place.

Second, she makes sure her zanpakuto is by her side and inspects her surroundings for any immediate threats.

Third, and most importantly, she takes out the pen and mini notebook she carries on her person, flips to an empty page, and starts taking notes.

If Kurotsuchi taicho bothers to bring her back, she knows he will want data. She also knows that she fears what will happen to her if she doesn't have said data.

Possibly, dismemberment.

And that's only looking on the bright side of things.

xOx

Hisoka is good at research. It's a vital skill in her division, after all, and, were it not for her aptitude in the field, she would have ended up as a test subject for Kurotsuchi taicho.

Well.

Far earlier in her Shinigami career, at least.

She cross references at least 347 scrolls and logs a total 7,899 hours of field research before she finally begins to draft a formal report. It starts with 60 concise pages of the basic geography of the world she is in and 240 on various wildlife.

(It seems excessive, sure, but Hisoka is sure that if she doesn't write enough, she will be strapped down on a table and cut open. Maybe without anesthetics. Or her life, even.)

The report goes on to detail 595 pages on the inhabitants and inventions of this world. She would have written more, except she really can't take ninja seriously.

At all.

The way they run, to start with, is completely ridiculous and should not increase air resistance whatsoever. They have demonic entities sealed into adolescent children. And, to add insult to injury, one of their leaders had apparently invented a technique that raised people back from the dead.

Whatever.

It's not her problem, anyway - she's just an observer (a very critical one, sure, but she leaves all the subjectivity out of the reports).

It's the problem of the Shinigami of this world, whatever he, she, it, they, or something of the sort may be doing.

xOx

Hisoka is copying a variation of an explosive seal into her notebook when she feels something lightly pulling her away.

It's a weak enough force that she can ignore it, but a part of her thinks that maybe, maybe it's her squad attempting to make contact, so she lets the unseen power take her away.

"-will seal away the souls of my teachers and yourself, Orochimaru!" An old man finishes, holding out his hands.

What.

"You're not-" Hisoka pauses, realizing that she is now translucent. "You're not Twelfth Division. You're not even a ranked officer."

In front of him are two reanimated corpses - one with black hair, the other with white - and another man that reminds her of Ichimaru Gin, if Ichimaru Gin decided to heavily powder his face and wear eye shadow while dressing himself in the dark.

(Yeah, okay, maybe the comparison is insulting to the not-so-defector's memory.)

They turn to face her as if she's the weird one. Which okay, technically in their world, she is. But still.

"How scary," The tall pale guy with purple lids hisses. He's famous, Hisoka remembers, or infamous - she's seen pictures of him before. What was his name again? Roachy? "The Shinigami is truly much more intimidating than I imagined."

"Do not underestimate her power, Orochimaru," The old man says, staring at her expectantly.

Oh, so that was his name.

Hisoka remembered now. He was one of the Sannin taught under the Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen - the old man? - the one who conducted illegal research in order to prolong his life and increase his powe-

"Wait," Hisoka frowns, crossing her arms. "What do you want from me?"

"To... to seal away the souls of my teachers by placing them in your stomach." The Hokage says.

Hisoka laughs, "I don't... No, I don't do that kind of thing. Place souls in my stomach? I'm not a hollow."

"Hollow?" The Hokage asks.

Orochimaru taps his foot impatiently. "So now that we've all realized that your jutsu is a failure," He looks at Hisoka with a sneer. "And that the Shinigami is far less imposing of a figure than I had thought, can we carry on with this invasion?"

"Wa-" Hisoka clicks her tongue. "Wait no, hold on, you're all dying."

The old man nods, "Yes, kill us all."

Hisoka widens her eyes and takes a step away from him. "Okay, not the reaction I thought I would have, but at least you're cooperating."

So technically, Shinigami forcibly taking living souls was against the rules in most cases. But then again, technically, this wasn't her world and the Shinigami here was doing a horrible job considering the fact that they let themselves be summoned. And, even worse, that they let souls be taken from the afterlife and placed into reanimated bodies.

If the Shinigami here had a problem with her, then tough.

Hisoka narrows her eyes, turning her body toward the white-haired reanimated corpse. If she's correct, and there's a 98.79 percent chance she is, he is Senju Tobirama, the ninja who decided to mess with death in the first place.

Yeah, he was going first.

Hisoka unsheathes her zanpakuto.

"Carve, Bohyō."

xOx

Orochimaru runs away, and Hisoka hopes that no one from her squad is watching her because Akon would never let her live it down and she would probably be demoted two seats.

In her defense, he was a pretty slippery opponent.

Still, at least she had activated her shikai and disabled his arms via her zanpakuto's ability of necrosis inducement.

She could bother chasing after him - she could catch up to him pretty easily, actually - but she knows that his arms can never be healed, so he won't be able to perform jutsu that requires hand seals - jutsu like summoning Shinigami.

So she won't see him again.

She won't ever have to deal with him again.

Right?

xOx

Wrong.

She is feels the faint pulling again, and Hisoka chooses to follow it.

'Maybe this time,' she thinks.

Yeah, no.

The worst part is that Orochimaru tries to physically merge with her, which, had it not been for her offended zanpakuto, might have actually happened.

(Bohyō is the best.)

Instead, she takes physical form - actual solid physical form - and smacks into the Sannin.

They both fall to the ground, a mask tumbling with them, though she rolls into the wall while he just lands on his hands.

"Really?" He hisses. And seriously, that snake-thing he has going on is less intriguing than she remembered.

Hisoka ignores his attitude, electing to clench and unclench her fingers against the floor while looking at him. "You... got your arms to work?"

If her zanpakuto was offended before, he was absolutely enraged now.

"It was a simple transfer of bodies." The man says, getting up and shrugging as if he's discussing the weather.

Hisoka rolls her eyes, then realizes that there are other occupants in the room. One with blood red eyes and a belt similar to that of Orochimaru, one purple clothes and white hair, and one with a black robe with orange hair.

"I'm gathering that he always switches bodies?" She asks, getting up.

The one with white hair snickers. "Yeah, he tried to take over Sasuke's body some time ago,"

The one with red eyes shoots a death glare at him. Hisoka presumes he's Sasuke. She knows about the Uchiha clan massacre and recognizes the Sharingan from her research.

The one with orange hair coughs. "Well. Suigetsu's... not wrong."

Sasuke shoots another death glare, only in the orange haired guy's direction.

Hisoka places a hand on her hip.

"Why did you summon me?"

"So we can slice your stomach open." Sasuke responds, still staring at his companion.

"...What?!" 

The one with white hair, Suigetsu, muffles his laughter. Unsuccessfully.

Hisoka narrows her eyes, aggravated by the situation and the fact that she can't recall why Suigetsu's name is familiar. Where did she hear it before?

Sasuke sighs, crossing his arms, and levels a look at her that simultaneously says 'I'm angry' and 'I'm done with everything.'

At least they both feel the same way.

"So we can summon the Hokage that you sealed away," Orochimaru says, in an attempt to explain. The operative word here being 'attempt,' because Hisoka still has no idea what is going on.

"Mhm, and why, do you want to do that?" She asks, grasping the hilt of her zanpakuto. The Sannin frowns at the action. Good. He remembers, at least.

"Did you not notice the fact that other people are being brought back from the dead?" He sneers.

Oh, yeah. That. Hisoka slumps her shoulders and rubs her face with the palms of her hands. "I did, actually, I just chose to ignore it." Because the Gotei 13 did not pay her enough to encourage her to try and fix a broken Shinigami system all on her own. They could not pay her enough, even.

The one with orange hair —

(Okay, no, she has to give him a name, this is bothering her; he looks familiar, like Suigetsu. Where are they from?

Oh wait.

She remembers that they were Orochimaru's experiments. Hōzuki Suigetsu and Jūgo.

She also remembers that they are in Orochimaru's presence right now and questions their sensibilities.

Seriously.

At least she signed up to be in the Twelfth Division.)

Jūgo furrows his brows. "You ignored the fact that people were going against your power?"

"Yes." Hisoka says, her words muffled by her hands. She pauses, then looks up. "Well, yes and no. Not exactly. Point is, it's not my mess to clean. It's the other Shinigami's."

"Well, it's a mess someone has to clean." Suigetsu says with a raise of a shoulder. "Uchiha Madara and a bunch of dead guys are running around killing everyone, and the Hokage are the only ones who can stop them."

Hisoka frowns. She takes out Bohyō.

Suigetsu's eyes widen and he grins, pointy teeth and all. "What, you think you can take us on with _that sword_?"

She has him embedded in the wall in .0278 seconds. Bohyō asks her to stab him. She wants to give into her zanpakuto's request, so, so badly.

Jūgo moves to help Suigetsu.

Orochimaru and Sasuke just look at her expectantly.

Hisoka looks back.

They still stare.

Fine. Just more paperwork for her to fill out. She's sure Kurotsuchi taicho will be less than pleased with her interference in this world.

Hisoka sighs. "Give me ten minutes and the directions to where Uchiha Madara and the dead guys are. I'll take care of them myself."

xOx

Turns out, Uchiha Madara is the least of this world's problems. There's a power-crazed woman named Ōtsutsuki Kaguya who wants to put everyone under an illusion.

And, well. Illusions? Obsession with control?

Hisoka could never rival Aizen Sōsuke in power. He would crush her, she fully admits that. She wouldn't even make a scratch.

In this world though, she's more powerful than this supposedly omnipotent person. So.

She stabs Kaguya mid-speech.

xOx

After using shunpo, she performs konsō on all the souls she hadn't gotten to before on the battlefield. Had she been a shunpo master, she would have gone through everyone much faster. But, as it stood, she was only a practitioner.

So the fastest ninja caught up to her and started asking questions.

A lot of questions.

They're halfway through asking her if she's a threat to them — and, seriously? She just saved them from the crazed rabbit woman — when a tingling sensation runs throughout her body, like she's just been electrocuted.

(She knows what that feels like.

Kuna and Tsubokura Rin can attest to that.

Don't ask.)

The jonin who were asking her questions stop and start looking around.

"Where'd she go?" One of them barks.

"She just vanished!" Another says, hand on his weapons pouch.

Hisoka is glad the jutsu Orochimaru cast wore off.

She didn't have the energy to deal with them on top of everything.

xOx

Hisoka takes over one of Orochimaru's labs and starts reconstructing her own portal. She makes sure to seal her notes with Kidō that would make her Academy instructors weep, because she isn't dumb and doesn't trust the Snake Sannin at all.

Kurotsuchi taicho, to be honest, probably accounted for her death when Nemu first pushed her in, so Hisoka figures that she's being proactive by bringing herself back.

Besides.

She wouldn't put it past him to have completely forgotten about her existence.

Or to have chosen to ignore it.

When she finally does get her portal to work, she makes sure to take all of her research with her - originals and copies. She also sets multiple delayed-reaction self-implosion seals and area-destructing Kidō spells. Because, again, she doesn't trust Orochimaru whatsoever.

(Sure, the Gotei 13 could have him executed in less than an hour, but Kurotsuchi taicho would be annoyed and she would have to file paperwork. Which, no.)

xOx

When she lands, Hisoka ends up on her back, watching her squad members furiously run around. The lab walls have been torn down, partially burnt, and eroded. The air smells faintly of decay and formaldehyde.

She is so, so comforted by the familiar setting.

Still on the floor, she reaches a hand out and stops a man — unseated officer Takeuchi Arata — carrying a rack of test tubes filled with reiatsu-infused strychnine.

"Nobushige san," He says, surprised.

"I am under circumstances that make me unaware of the circumstances at hand. Report." She orders.

He tells her about the Quincy, the Wandenreich, and the separate space in Seireitei the Wandenreich created. He tells her about the deaths, the captains, and the deaths of some captains. He tells her about everything.

Huh.

She missed a lot, apparently.

"Dismissed, Takeuchi san." She says with a nod.

The man nods back before running off. Hisoka gets up, dusts herself off, and goes outside.

And is almost shot through the head.

Hisoka laughs, immediately zoning in on her attacker. He is dressed all white — a Quincy. 

She unsheathes her sword.

It's good to be back.

**Author's Note:**

> Bohyō = Grave Marker 
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you have a thought, leave a comment — I'd love to hear what you have to say (:


End file.
